Peace and Love Homies

HMMM. I think this is going to be my last blog. I think I have summed up all there is for you to know about me and my first year experience at florida state. I have ran into some interesting people and some killer squirrels. I have been to some parties. Woke up in the morning NOT “feeling like P Diddy” as Ke$ha would try to tell you that you and lots more. Ive tried to explain to you the weird and interesting things that go on here, and how things are totally different than from what people imagine college would be and they are totally are at the same time. You get trash thrown on you at football games, boys feel you up at sketchy clothes, and sooner or later EVERYBODY eats ramen. Even me. Smh I hope you learned something from my blog.

Love,

Lovely Bailey 

Killer Squirrels?

Today my Jesus himself almost took my life! I think im going to start writing my will tonight just in case this ever happens again. I could have sworn that a squirrel tried to attack me! I swear these squirrels here are crazy! Most squirrels run the opposite direction when they see humans. The squirrels on this campus run TOWARDS you. Especially if you have food. I was walking in the union by HCB and i know for a fact that the squirrel leaped towards me and my sandwich. Maybe I need to look into getting a rabies shot just in case. Lord knows ive had to look into getting a lot of other precautions since ive been at this school.  

NORMAL SQUIRREL

LEAPING KILLER SQUIRREL

that is how that squirrel leaped at me from the tree as  i was walking to my class on campus. only on FLORIDA STATE UNIVERSITY'S campus have i ever encountered such brave animals. dont they know that i could like...hurt them? obviously not since im the one who ends up running away and not them. smh. good night and good riddance!

"AY YO SHORTY"

So me and I couple of friends of mine went out last night. Did you read that? I have friends around here now. J this is oh so great. But like I was saying. I went out to this place called 20/20. Heard it was lots of fun. But I think we went on the wrong day because there was a lot of ppl and music that I am NOT familiar with. I walked in and I hear this blasting gangster rap music. I mean…I like me some lil wayne but I heard some song about pulling out a stick…like really? What the hell are we pulling out a stick for? And where are we pulling this stick out of? Uberly weird. Anyway. This massively tall black guy comes up to me and says “Aye yo shorty you looking hella fine tonight let me get a dance” first of all I am not short im 5’6. Second what is aye yo? Who is yo? Obviously I didn’t let him dance with me. Why the hell would I do that? But he doesn’t leave. He just keeps asking “aye yo shorty can I get a dance, ay yo shorty can I get a dance?” I ignored him but eventually he just got up behind me and grabbed my ass. TOTAL NO NO! worst decision of my life so far. I have only encountered such a situation since I have been attending this florida state university. Are other university clubs this bad? Maybe I should go and look into that. This is too much to handle.  I think I need a shot.

so yea, this is what i ended up going to. i dont even know who this guy is on this flyer. but i do know that i will NOT be going back to see him anytime soon. i cant understand anything he's saying. plus i was like the only white girl there, along with my other white click. can i say....AWKWARD

apparently bajas beach club and rockbar arent that bad. but i have noticed that it all depends on what day you go to the club around here in tallahassee. if you go out on saturday. your sure to be felt up by some frisky man. but if you go out on thursday night to either the mint or the strip on tennessee street, you might be able to come home with some dignity left. i must say that i did go to rockbar wednesday and had a marvelous time. WITHOUT being humiliated. like really.... why is everybody in college is so frisky? smh

Like i said, these other clubs dont seem as bad. but like...dont take my word for it, go party and figure it out yourself. duh

ROCKBAR

BAJA'S BEACH CLUB 

CLUB MINT

PEOPLE, PEOPLE, WHERE IS THE LOVE?

So I went to my first football game today. Lets just say I don’t know anything when It comes to that sport. All it seems like is boys jumping on top of each other and maybe they might be trying to run with that brown ball looking thing. Sometimes they throw it. I really don’t know. But they are hot so it all works out. Anyway. I was walking and these people with orange and blue told me to get the f$*k out the way. Come to find out they were some people called the “gators”. But why are they being so damn mean? Why cant we all just get along? Why cant we all be friends here? If it wasn’t for the colors we were wearing im pretty sure everybody would be friends. Its totally different than being in high school. I mean, you had rivals but nobody through the bird, threw trash at you and attempted to hit you! Yea that’s right, you read it. HIT YOU. At football games, if that team doesn’t like you, and they are drunk enough, they will use physical force. Can you say bad sportsmanship? And if you are not in the nose bleed section, you can hear the players on the other team be unsportsmanlike too. Like really?bad sportsmanship article Man I really need to go back home. Free san fransico hugs are calling me. Tear.  L. Then I saw this little boy flicking somebody off from the other team. These people are crazy! Not to mention the men that were uberly drunk. Smelled like gin, old men and cheese and sweat. Bad combination. And they were trying to hit on me. So not cool. Well we won the game so I guess that makes up for the old nasty men. People were going bazerk around here. They had fireworks going off and everything. I don’t get it. I guess these ppl hated each other more than I thought. My cali peeps. I miss you. Its so weird being here with so much hostility, and no beach to relieve yourself. Can I  say uberly LAME!

ok. so i know how i am suppose to feel about the gators since i am a seminole, but i am sure this little kid doesnt know enough about the rivarly between the two schools that would make him want to flick the gators off. smh. where are his parents?

But I must say that I love this warchant song that the band does. Its totally epic. Everybody in the stands comes together and does this karate chop thing with their right arm. For some odd reason they never do it with their left. I guess I was asleep during that part of orientation. The band plays it every time the team does something good. Im glad they do, that way I know when to cheer

CAN I SAY HUMILIATION?

I dressed up all cute. And he rejected me. Like really? I was not expecting to be denied like that. So now im humiliated and I still have my C. not to mention I have to see him again in class tomorrow. This would have totally worked back home. What kind of place is this? FML! Daddy found out about my F. he’s taking my car away. I guess using your body as bribery does NOT work at this FLORIDA STATE UNIVERSITY. Smh

Plan B Maybe?

Daddy’s going to kill me! I totally just got an F on my college algebra test. I told him I should just be a trophy wife, this whole “college” thing is not for me. Why doesn’t anyone listen? Ugh. i heard that college algebra is one of the most failed classes on campus. so i might be able to get off the hook with daddy on this one but then again idk. i mean...like really? if the teachers know people are going to struggle in this class, why dont they worn people sooner? like...i dont understand? the teachers dont even tell you when things are coming up. you have to look on these things called syllabuses. i think i might have spelled that wrong...whatever. yea im TOTALLY NOT feeling this "do it on your own" thing, i wonder if they do this type of thing at every university? hmm Maybe I will go meet with my teacher. I guess he’s cute enough. Maybe I can seduce him into giving me at least a 70. That’s a C right? And I mean…lets fact it. I am cute. I mean, who would reject me? Me? Bailey Johnson. Its never been done. Have to go find the perfect outfit for tomorrow. Good night. wish me luck ;) 

comment and tell me if this outfit looks good enough and ill blog about it tomorrow and let you know how it goes. even though i already know how its going to to....UBERLY AWESOME!

Click here for more cute college girl outfits. =)

I HATE MY DADDY!

Omg I hate my daddy! How could he do this to me? I thought he loved me but I was definitely wrong! He left me in this tiny small room that smells like other people have been living in here. The air stinks and there is no bathroom! Everybody has to share. Something called a community style bathroom where everybody has to use 3 showers and 3 toilets for one hall. Wth. This is TOTALLY inhumane.  What happened to me getting a new dorm and a really big one and my OWN bathroom at that? Omg im crying as I am typing this…wait..let me catch my mascara…its running.

I HAD TO TAKE A PICTURE OF MYSELF AND SHOW EVERYBODY EXACTLY HOW I AM FEELING ABOUT BEING HERE! DEPRESSED

the fact that i have to wash my body right next to somebody else makes me want to curl up and die! how could anybody llive under these conditions. i cant take this. where's my maid?

Ok im back. But yea. It totally totally sucks major grapes being in here. And I almost forgot to mention my roommate. And im almost sure I forgot her on purpose. First off. She shops at this place called walmart. Never herad of it. I mean seriously. I asked her about publix and she claimed it was too expensive. Too expensive? Its publix not saxs fifth avenue! even though I don’t consider that place too expensive either but whatever. And what does "too expensive" mean anyway? Daddy always told me to go for the best in everything. So im shopping at publix. Screw that. And plus she always eats this pasta called “Ramen” supposedly the chicked flavored is the best. I heard that’s what poor people with no meal plan eat in college. I have a meal plan, so therefore I could care less. Whatever that is looks like it might give me hernia. Im not quite sure what a hernia is. But im almost sure I will catch hernia from ramen. Gross.

so this is what they call food around here! every college person i know, well the poor ones, are always eating this dry nasta looking crap that you boil and then poor some supposedly "chicken flavored" powder on. one way ticket to DEATH for Ms. Bailey Johnson. this is a meal i shall never partake in.

Where the Hell am I?

ok like really...where the HELL am i? my father sent me to some college named Florida State University. i mean...i dont even know the difference between a college and a university so what am i doing here? anyway. they are suppose to be the home of the seminoles and some Bobby country hick looking guy. never heard of this place in my life. i wonder how much daddy paid for me to get in here?

it seems half way ok for now i guess. im looking foward to my dorm. i heard its one of the best experiences ever. and im pretty sure daddy got the hook up with some guy so i can get the biggest room possible. oh how i love my daddy. he's so good to his little baby. that being me...duh.

So this is our mascot. Osecola and Renegade. come to find out, i go to only one of two schools that has a live mascot. the other school being university of central florida. i guess they are from somewhere in central florida, but im only assuming that because of the name of the school. other than that i dont know.

wow. can i say LAME! Renegade and Osceloa are ten times better looking than this thing. i dont even know what that is. like really....??? what kind of mascot is dressed in medevil clothing? its not the year 862. i feel better about this florida state thing already.

LIKE UBER AWESOMENESS

OMG hi guys. im oh so excited about writing my blog. i have been wanting to do this ever since...like ever ya know? i mean, who wouldnt want to follow me anyway? im cute, fun and an awesome kisser. what more could you as for? like....really? unfortunately i just moved to florida from the west coast. you know, this stae named california. the one that katy perry sings about? yea... like that one. i just graduated high school and my father tells me i have to go to college. like....really? WTF? im suppose to be a trophy wife remember? lagging around coolege books would totally K I L L my image. but daddy says he will buy me the new 2012 mercedes benz if i go. i guess that means im heading to college boys! get ready